In the Year of Our COVID, we’re making ashes with the bones of ourselves. I interrupt my coronavirus info blog series to share frustrated opinion about hamburger fatties and green lizards…

THE LIZARDS

I’m not an economist. I don’t understand most of the figures they flash on TV as ‘proof’ of what’s up/what’s down. However, it’s impossible for the financial industry (whose job it is to be profitable) to be profitable all the time. We must constantly remind ourselves that the only way they can do their job is to be full of smoke half the time.

I’m using “They” as description ’cause they’re the Harvard University definition of a lizard:

“An industry that trades debt for profit, bets on companies to fail, has banks loaning money to hedge funds to bet against their clients, and makes money like Jesus made wine, is a Lizard.”

Remember how happy the lizards were in 2007, a year before our world’s began falling down the mountain? I use the present tense ’cause that rolling downhill keeps rolling…

WE’RE A HAMBURGER IN AN EMERGENCY

We’re given debt to make us happy, ’cause nothing’s more real than an unnecessary McDonald’s Burger in our mouth, the oversized car we drove to its meaty meatlessness, from the house with the pool we don’t use and the guest room that stores the things we don’t need.

But it’s a blessing that we ate so much, our fat tummy and bigger arse making the sharp rocks on the decline less painful until we fell into this comfy chair as large as us, that was conveniently positioned in front of the giant-screen so that we could pretend the world is as it should be unless “Ar-sen-allll” or our least hated politician (Helen Zille) lost the game.

“Community” isn’t defined by who we help, and “Nationalism” doesn’t mean empowerment. Instead, sport, lotteries, unreal reality programs, and who-fucked-who on unromantic soapies have became our “Citizenship”. And to ensure we’re represented where it matters, we reflu “influencers” on Twitter.

We keep breaking the record for ‘How Much We Can Complain Without Doing Anything About It’. We’ve turned expectation into a crematorium we consider convenient. Well, just look at that smoke today, 110,000 covid-infected pieces of us forgetting to say goodbye!

The financial negative effect of the latest coronavirus is just another trading of our lives. We’ve allowed ourselves to become a product that can be sold for loss. Our corporate sponsored Government would be a fool not to take that deal.

DON’T BE SO SERIOUS

Hey, I never meant to make you uncomfortable. I was only joking. I’m really just here to tell you that it’s still a man’s world, our prayers still work, we’ll be forgiven our slothly sins, and virgins impatiently await us in that death cloud.

But, maybe before that, we should take a deep breath and relax… so we can fully enjoy ‘America’s Got Talent’ on TV tonight.

Shew, that was close – we almost forgot to keep being who we are rather than who we want to be.

Read:

• Part 4: President Ramaphosa, come clean about CoViD-19