A scratch golfer hits his ball three hundred yards straight down the fairway at the Conrad Pezula’s championship golf course. The ball hits a sprinkler and careens off into the woods. He finds the ball but trees surround it. He’s pissed, says what the hell, grabs his nine-iron, and hits the ball as hard as he can. It bounces off a tree back at the golfer’s head and kills him.
He arrives in heaven and God himself is at the Pearly Gates to greet him. Looking up his records, God sees that the guy a golfer and says, “Are you any good?”
The golfer looks at God and says, “I got here in two, didn’t I?”